Douglas Gaymerd
About Participant
Date of Participation: 03/25/2075
Age at Participation: 80
Most Cherished Memory: Playing Mario the first time.
Favorite Item or Idea: 2D platformers.
What I’m Most Proud of: Becoming a god gamer.
Hope for the Future: That my son exceeds my expectations of him as a gamer.
Growing up, gamers were some of the most oppressed people on this planet.
No one could understand us.
The general population couldn’t understand how difficult it was to play 2D platformers.
After I changed my last name to suit my personality, I knew I had to get serious.
I was going to be the best 2D platformer there ever was.
Speedrunner.
Record breaker.
100% DEMON KING!
No one would stop me.
But then I developed the worst disease known to man.
I became…
BALD!
From that point forward, I knew all hope was lost.
With my baldness taking control of my body, I knew it was over for me…
I had to give up.
I didn’t want to have to throw in the towel.
But when you become bald, it is impossible to play 2D platformers.
I am literally shaking and crying thinking about how bald I am.
My seed, Douglas Gaymerd Jr., will have to carry my torch and become the best 2D platformer champion to have EVER EXISTED!
JUST YOU WAIT!